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Engaging Customers and Building Community with Copywriting and Content Marketing

Seven Surprises I’m Grateful For After Ten Years Of Freelancing

November 26, 2015 by jennifer mcgahan Leave a Comment

Seven Surprises I’m Grateful For After Ten Years Of Freelancing
freelancing surprisesWhen I first realized I could have and grow a business from the family’s only computer, I spent all my “extra” time building a website for my arts and crafts business, and then writing a blog to write and showcase my work and writing I was doing for others at the time.

My website was essentially a “display case” for my work, which was fine for lead gen, but I still also had to do the work — making the art and writing the copy or articles for e-zines, magazines, local small businesses, and the people who hired me on elance.

On top of that, I was out there pitching the work in person — setting up a tent at holiday art shows, traveling to art retreats and drumming the pavement for local work. Not to mention personally bidding on lots of odd writing jobs and losing half of them to other wirters… Yes, it was a lot of hustling!

I was — and still am — a stay-at-home mom. If you’ve ever had tiny children you know any sort of regularity is impossible when kids are small. To everyone else, the stuff I was doing, making and building looked more like a hobby, especially since I wasn’t making much money doing it. If I had to describe my work-life “balance” back then it was like trying to staple jelly to a wall!

Ten years later, we’re still going through some challenging times with some “special needs” older teenagers, and life is good, given all its twists and turns.

But as a small business owner I’ve turned a corner, and that’s what I want to share with you.

I have the greatest respect for people with a business mindset and a big dream. People who are focused on building a business from home, even when it seems like not another living soul believes in them.

But I’d be lying if I told you I didn’t think gainful employment would be cool sometimes. Even though I know it doesn’t really work like this, I still fantasize about it: I’d clock in and perform some enjoyable, assigned task with supportive and appreciative coworkers for X number of hours, with the certainty that I was going to get paid X amount at the end of the week! (Oddly, I’m usually picturing stocking produce when I imagine a job other than writing… it looks like fun.)

stress over time

It’s a mindset. A go-to job would never work for me because I made a choice, at least for now. I’m an entrepreneur-freelancer who chooses to work from home. I have a full, but unusual schedule. I can’t expect anyone else to live around it, either, especially when things get a little crazy around here.

But do I work hard? Of course. Do I place high demands on my work and productivity? You bet.

And that’s a typical entrepreneur-freelancer’s mindset for you. Helping folks create relevant content, and putting effort into marketing efforts is how I grow my business. It’s essential to filling any freelancer’s funnel.

For personal and financial reasons, a lot of folks are adopting a similar work habit. Freelancing and self-employment are not too far out of the norm.

Last year, self-employed workers made up 10% of the overall workforce. According to the US Bureau of Labor Statistics, that’s 15 Million people!

entrepreneur, freelancerWe’re a growing population, that’s a given. In order to support my fellow freelancers, self-employed solopreneurs and entrepreneurs, I’ve been assessing the changes in the last decade, and wanted to share my experience.

After ten years freelancing and working for myself, what’s changed and what’s stayed the same?

1. The more experience you have, the better you’re able to vet projects before you take them. I still hustle for jobs, but now I’m better at predicting which jobs wouldn’t be a good fit so I don’t take them or even bid on them at all. I used to spend hours on the phone with “prospects” who would ask hundreds of questions about marketing strategy, in effect getting valuable consulting for free. Then I’d spend half a day putting together a proposal based on their specific business and goals. Many times I would never even get a response when I followed up. Not cool, but it happens to new freelancers all the time.

2. Business details no longer consume time and drain energy. I still spend a fair amount of time working IN my business, rather than ON my business (the cardinal sin of entrepreneurship), but I’m gradually getting to the point where my business doesn’t drag me down. I can get on top of it and see where I’m truly helpful, and where I need to get help from others. I get to spend more time doing what I’m good at because there’s a bit of infrastructure in place, finally.

my team connects3. The name My Team Connects is a name we gave the company when a former partner and I had in mind a SAS that helped sales teams collaborate via email. I like to think it’s still a name that works. Three reasons:

  1. I’m building a team via a network marketing company I believe in, separate but complementary to my writing business.
  2. As a writer and marketing consultant, I get to help other freelancers and businesses grow. When the energy is great, I feel like I’m part of a team, albeit a revolving team.
  3. I feel a connection to my professional and personal team of people on whom I rely to get me through the days. If we didn’t have a good connection working together, it wouldn’t be much fun, so I’m grateful for that.

4. My confidence underwent an adjustment. I’m not exactly sure “confidence” is the right word, because it sounds prideful, when what I mean is that I’m more aware and willing to admit what I can’t do, instead of pretending that I’m something I’m not. The word Confidence has evolved to mean “Less bravado, more kindness.”

5. Success doesn’t mean building an empire. I used to think that if I didn’t have an Inc. Fortune 5000 Small Business Award hanging on my wall someday, nothing I did would count. Success these days is more about choices, freedom, and giving back.

6. Trust your talent and skill. Listen, I’m a big believer in coaches and teachers, but there’s a moment you realize that their way isn’t always the best way for you. For several years, I spent lots of money and time taking courses on how to be a better writer, and comparing my writing with others’ writing. I mistrusted the words I penned, even though I’ve been writing almost daily since I was 11 years old; and while I know there are better writers, I didn’t allow myself to trust my voice. I’m getting better about that.

7. I also bought into what seems to be the inspirational speakers’ mantra that invariably goes something like this: “I was living in my car; I was such a failure, my mother didn’t even claim me; but now I’m over all that stuff that was holding me back. So follow exactly what I do and you’ll be a raving success just like me.” I would wear myself out readjusting my thoughts to someone who seemed like they had it all together, and taking to heart the voices and opinions of others who knew nothing about me. Weird, I know, but tuning out all that “inspiration” is a sign of growth. For me, at least.

Today, not only do I detect a trace of desperation in some of those voices (which makes me sad), but the message also makes me uneasy because I look around and see leaders with quiet confidence whose kingdoms are every bit as great. You have to learn to trust yourself and your own story.

happy home businessIf I can share the dream of building a business from home while being happy at home, then I know I’ll be doing my best work here. The things that have helped me build a writing business helping people sell millions of dollars in products and services, are things I can share with you, too.

My blog is a course in itself, where you can get hundreds of posts I’ve written over the years about copywriting and email marketing . You also have access to some of the information products I’ve created to add value for my small business clients.

I’m adding to this content library weekly, and working on organizing it into categories so that it’s easier to find relevant topics. Meanwhile, please enjoy what’s here and let me know if there’s something you’d like me to cover from a work-from-home standpoint, a business-building standpoint, or a copywriting standpoint.

A good place to start is with the Lucky Deck of content creation tips. Most people have a natural voice when it comes to their expertise, but they just don’t know how to tell the story. These help with that.

Then, you need the copywriting part. When you learn to infuse your content with specific calls to action, then your social media and blog, etc. really start to bring in the people who will buy products and services from you. This is how you transform your communication into writing and speaking that closes sales.

communityYou really can’t build a business without it, so if you have 21 minutes today, I invite you to get the pointers for writing and speaking these words that sell. They’re my best 21 tips in short 60-second videos and I think you’ll like them a lot!

By the way, did I mention that all this content is free! Just register for the content library membership here to get started.

 

 

Filed Under: Freelancing Tagged With: build business from home, building a business, business success, copywriting, entrepreneur qualities, freelance writing, freelance writing from home, freelancing, freelancing vs. job, home business, small business, solopreneur, teamwork at home, work from home, writing

Showing Your Face and Building Your History As You Grow Your Business

September 30, 2015 by jennifer mcgahan Leave a Comment

Showing Your Face and Building Your History As You Grow Your Business

I’ve watched certain movies, um, let’s say a few times. Among them, Bridget Jones’ Diary, Wings of Desire, and Jerry McGaguire.

Of course I cry when Dorothy Boyd says, “You had me at hello.”

After that long soliloquy about how he needed her, wanted her, couldn’t live without her, he needn’t have bothered. All he really had to do was walk in the door.

As a writer, that kind of verbal charisma would pretty much put me out of business. In this business, the first phrase only qualifies as swoon-worthy if it makes your reader want to keep reading.

"You had me at hello," said no customer, ever. (If only a mere “Hello” did the trick, writing would be so easy and pointless… that’s really why I cried!)

A Single “Hello?”

But it’s worth exploring why a single hello did it.

The main reason is History. Jerry had a history with Dorothy.

Besides his amazing smile, ballsy personality, his touching sweet relationship with her son, his passion for his work, and his recent success as a freelance agent for a promising, top athlete; Jerry had already laid the groundwork for winning her over yet again.

Because of his history with her, he never really lost her to begin with.

It wasn’t a huge risk he was taking. His ability to move Dorothy by just opening his mouth has already been established. Remember when he declared his manifesto before his entire agency, and she was the only one who walked with him that day? She’s already taken a chance on Jerry, and believes in him.

It’s true that Jerry stuck his neck out by showing up during Dorothy’s sister’s women’s club, an environment that proved to be less than friendly to me (I’m not sure I would have walked into that!), but that little detail only made his speech more romantic.

Assuming you won’t have customers “at hello,” what can you do to set the stage for a winning offer when the time comes?

You build a history. You tell your story. 

Stay true to YOU and be real with your customers.

I follow a writer Scott Berkun (The Year Without Pants, about working for WordPress), and receive his sporadic e-newsletters. Since I know who he is and have read his work, I wasn’t too surprised to receive an email today, sharing, basically, that he was writing less these days, not sure why, and feeling like a change was in the air. Just a little heads-up to his subscribers, which I appreciated. I didn’t unsubscribe. I figured whatever he decided to do next might be cool, so I’d just wait and see.

Honesty is necessary when you are the face of your brand. Vulnerability (although a little scary) is endearing… at least if you have the right audience.

A lot of folks I follow provide excellent products and services, AND share stuff that most others wouldn’t dream of writing in a blog post or newsletter. Does it scare me off that they are human? Nope.

So when does sharing your story help, and when does it hurt your business? I think as long as you stand behind your offers and deliver them with professionalism and as much excellence as you can, then you should feel free to share your!

You’re building a relationship with your customers, running your business with integrity and sleeping well knowing you’ve done all you could. If you’re lazy, or insincere, don’t have the gumption to fix things that are broken, don’t want to put in the work to learn how to build a better business or learn from others who have cleared the path before you, then it’s gonna show!

If you are sharing personal things, like a story about burning out or losing credibility due to a bad partnership, or going bankrupt, you do have to tell the truth. Sugar coating it only makes it seem like you didn’t learn any lessons from it.

It’s taken a long time for me to tell parts of my story because when you’re slogging through something, and the wounds are still fresh, your work is sometimes what helps you keep your head above water. After the dust settles, then you can make some sense of it and see where telling your story would help others.

Truth feels great when you finally step into it.

Being a single (separated) mom of three kids, running a home business and raising children on my own, takes ridiculous juggling, hustling, and energy.

Building a business from home isn’t a cakewalk. It’s flexible, yes, but that means you have to work harder and stay more organized than your commuting counterparts. (You are probably wearing all the hats, too!) My typical day: I wake up at 5:00 in the morning knowing I have a couple of hours to get things done or snatch some quiet time before waking sleepy, sometimes grumpy children. I make lunches, head to school(s), squeeze in a workout, get the shopping done, prepare meals, pick up kids and drive for 5 hours to get them where they need to go.

Oh, and by the way, for many years when I was in the throes of freelance work, I met all my deadlines and scheduled client calls, too… Many days I thought (think!) I had lost my mind, although they occur less and less as the years go by, thank goodness. I can’t tell you how many hours I struggled alone, worrying over my family’s well-being, time and money. Only now do I know how valuable those lessons were are, now that we are learning better ways of coping with all of the above.

On top of all that, it’s absolutely essential that I stay positive! I chase down and silence every ugly, discouraging thing my inner critic says. I post a lot of encouraging, life-affirming, positive stuff on Facebook and Twitter because I NEED to do that. It’s as much for me as for my Facebook friends (thank you!) whom I love and appreciate every single day.

Show your face and tell your true storyIf you tell the truth about what it cost you, people believe you.

Your story becomes your history. Your followers will know what to expect. As you’re building a Facebook page, or adding articles to your blog, your story becomes easy to tell because it’s real. Even though circumstances may change – even your products and offers may change; but your authentic voice, your history’s narrator, rings true.

I’m reminded of a financial advisor who creates products, books and services geared to women. Nobby Kleinman is a fellow entrepreneur I met at a marketing conference a couple of years ago. Follow his Facebook page, and you’ll find that not only does he talk about personal finance, but he shares where he travels (women’s conferences), he asks opinions of his followers, shares jokes, and posts pictures of favorite food, cake. (You can be the judge whether cake is indeed food.)

Nobby is open about sharing what he does and what he likes. He also reveals that he’s committed to certain practices (marketing, authorship, entrepreneurship) and groups, When he rolls out a new product it’s no big surprise; be it a book, a course, or a service to help women outsource parts of their business. The main hub is women’s finances…and cake. You get a real sense of who Nobby is, not just his business and products, and that’s why people like his page.

Building a Soulful Business

When you are the face of your business, your marketing and social media sites become the patina of the soulful business. The sooner you become comfortable embracing that, even the darker shadows back there, the better you’ll feel and the easier and more naturally you will build a business doing what you love.

If you are freelancing, growing your network marketing business online, writing books, or selling info products; you really need to do this. Freely sharing your personality enables you to move faster through this wide open and social world we live in now.

If you spend 10 hours meditating each week, how could you not talk about that in your business life? It’s consuming a big part of your week, after all. If your faith is really important to you, that should come forth, too. If art is like breathing air, then of course art will emerge as a dominant theme in your home business. As you are building your personal brand, not much is off limits. The better you can integrate the little daily pleasures and the grind, the people you enjoy, and the errands you run, the more smoothly your business will flow.

Sharing your history is telling your story. When you tell your story, you don’t have to explain every detail in each post and update; it just naturally builds up. You reiterate what drives you. Share why it drives you, why it’s important to you, or makes you happy. Then when you make an offer to your friends and followers, they’ll be expecting it.

You might have to say more than “hello,” but they’ll be ready.

 

Filed Under: Content Marketing Tagged With: building a business, growing your business, home business, jerry maguire, network marketing, Nobby Kleinman, organization, Scott Berkun, showing your face, showing your face in business, single mom and home business, single parents building businesses, speaking truth in your business, tell your story, the real you, working from home, you had me at hello, your history

The Peril In Waiting Your Turn, Plus Ten Tips To Make Your Move

September 21, 2015 by jennifer mcgahan 4 Comments

The Peril In Waiting Your Turn, Plus Ten Tips To Make Your Move

“Going from ‘Why me?’ to ‘Why not me?’ is an important switch you need to make to be an entrepreneur.”

John Lee Dumas’ podcast Entrepreneur on Fire’s guest Edwin Havens suggests that being an entrepreneur requires a change in thinking.

While it sounds simple, that recognition really is the pivot point that changes everything because it leads to action. You can’t be an entrepreneur if you’re not taking action almost every day.

“Why not you? Why not now?” I believe most people would take action if they were more comfortable with imperfect action. Yet, most beginnings are clumsy, painful, and awkward. 

No one ever really makes a deliberate decision NOT to act; usually the opportunity just “slips by” one second, maybe five seconds too late. Maybe, while you were working up your nerve, the elevator door opened and everything changed. Maybe once, your boldness was either punished or ignored. As you’re contemplating that memory, opportunity walks on by.


The good news is that opportunities come around all the time. With the right mindset, opportunity is a never-ending flow. Taking a ride on the opportunity highway is like pulling into a busy street. You watch for enough space — again — then you make your move.

cross traffic doesn't stopMy college friend, as less cautious driver than me, used to inform me from the passenger seat, “You could have turned a hundred times.” And many times, she was right.

There will always be opportunity to act on your entrepreneurial idea, pitch a business, test a small group, take your first client, practice out your chops, or sell your product. Always. The problem comes when we wait for an invitation to do it, or we don’t hustle to achieve it.

Timing is everything. Doors are always opening, yes, but they don’t stay open too long. If your heart is set on something, you’re going to have to move fast and push your way in. Nudge politely, have fun, and respect others (you know all that) but DO expect an initial jolt when you enter the flow.

Expect an inelegant entrance as you announce your presence and give yourself permission to do something uncomfortable. Then put the pedal down so you don’t get run over. Once you’re moving, things start to become more fun. There’s truth to the axiom about apologizing later, so forget about the awkward beginning.


It’s hardly fair to tell this story, because my daughter was so young, only about  8 or 9 years old, when it occurred, . I tell it because it’s as much my story, too.

Permission to Ride

Katie wanted to ride the big water slide at Sea World. She was tall enough, and brave enough; just young. Unfortunately, I was stranded on the ground, so I couldn’t go with her. Her two much younger brothers possessed neither the height nor the desire to slide, so I weighed the options, then decided to let her out of my sight to go on the water slide alone. It meant standing alone in a long line with strangers, most of whom were older than she. Katie gamely agreed.

With dumb trust in the Universe to take care of the situation, I watched my daughter get in the long line. After a few minutes she disappeared, folded into the crowd inside a multi-level bungalow of sorts, winding its way in queue to the top.

While admiring my child’s bravery and adventuresome spirit, I knew that while waiting at the bottom of the slide, I’d be wondering how she was doing, if she was glad she made the decision to go alone, and if she was having fun.

[Go ahead and judge my parenting skills if you like, but functioning as a single mom in public places, the facts are plain. If any of my kids were going to have any fun at all growing up, we had to let go of each other and venture into the world. I know many mothers who would never let their kids out of their sight at an amusement park; but I’m not a fearful mother by nature. My oldest was always self sufficient and comfortable in her skin. She didn’t care for my hovering and, thank goodness, I’m not a hoverer. Thank you, Lenore Skenazy, for the blessing of your blog Free Range Kids.]

So we waited for 45 minutes at the bottom of the slide, watching for her to emerge from the slide into the small pool below. Suddenly, Katie appeared behind us. She was approaching from the stairs where I left her almost an hour ago.

She told me the park employee had turned her away at the top of the steps because she was in the wrong line. Seems there were two lines. One with tubes, and one without. Katie was in the tube line, next to the equally-long queue of sliders without tubes.

Instead of letting her slide in the no-tube line, the idiot monitoring the crowd at the top simply told her “Wrong line. Can’t slide.”

Really?? Where was that benevolent adult or teenager — the one I would be if I saw a kid wanting to slide but who happened to have chosen the wrong line? Why couldn’t someone up there see that she should be allowed to simply transfer to the other line and slide on down. Like everyone else, she waited for 45 freaking minutes!

With no one to advocate for her, she descended the same steps, going against the foot traffic all the way down, and came to find us.

Mamas get angry when kids aren’t given a fair shot. It’s worse when you’re not there to stand up for them. Instead of anger or injustice, some kids just feel sad and hurt. Katie was embarrassed, but didn’t seem to be as upset as I was. She had  had her adventure, so I knew I had to let my frustration go.

“It sucks being little.” That’s what I told her. I also told her the guy was a jerk, which did no good. I gave her a hug.

Childhood hurt can last a long time and increase your fear of stepping out again. As her mother, it opened my eyes, too, and provoked the protective Mama Bear in me. Although Katie never stopped being the independent, adventurous, strong and flexible girl I admired; today I see that her skills include outmaneuvering the system by being smarter, quicker and adept at timing her moves; instead of confronting it head on.

Ten years later, I don’t credit this one incident to her mental and social agility, but I do notice how people develop skills that can be traced back to the way they handled things as children.


out of steps. being politeThe Polite Rule-Followers’ Plight.

Polite and Plight, similar sounding words. Hmmm.

There are many ways to overcome an unfair situation, and to flip the switch from “Why is this happening to me?” to “I’m going to make this happen for me.” You have your special gifts for doing that, hardwired into your personality.

The ones I truly feel for are the people who neither confront, nor outsmart, nor sneak around the conventions of society. They are the beautiful, polite souls that accept unfair, unspoken rules — the ones that allow everyone (and no one) permission to stand out.

I can’t help getting pissed off when I see or hear of the breathtaking talent of people who are settling for a position in life that is beneath them.

  • An experienced and intelligent writer providing ghost blog posts for practically free, or a penny a word on elance. (Rubbish, by the way… don’t ever do that more than once.)
  • A songwriter who has not shared his songs with actual musicians because no one’s ever exactly “invited’ him to write for them.
  • A writer who fills journals with her ideas and stories, yet never starts a blog or publishes an ebook because she’s not sure she’s good enough or “doesn’t have the time.”
  • The entrepreneur/artist who has a dozen good ideas every week, but works at the big box home improvement store and tinkers in his garage every night instead of bringing his projects to light.

What’s shocking about these examples is the placid acceptance with which some folks view their “fate.”

Listen, we’ve all had that feeling of being devastated by a past failure. Just like my daughter’s experience of waiting for what seemed like forever (at least to me, down below) on narrow, dark steps only to be turned away as soon as she came out into the light. In spite of my incredulity of the situation, Katie tried something brave that day and lived to tell.

Everyone gets the opportunity to feel let-down when they’re young. In fact, i’s better to get acquainted with it when you’re young than to be blindsided when you’re older. Maybe you were cut from your team, blew your audition for the school play, or later in life, passed over for a promotion you deserved.  It’s a charmed childhood (and motherhood) that doesn’t include the sting of rejection, but we all live through it and become stronger in the long term. I’ll always remember the tears of a colleague, the mother of a thirteen-year-old who was the only kid in her class not invited to a party. “You’ll understand when you’e a mom.”

And so I do. But even though those moments cut to the bone, you MUST try again.


Permission is a joke

I honestly don’t believe that other people intend to be mean. Everyone is dealing with their own stuff all the time. People are generally good; most are just trying to get along in this big old world the same as you.

Still, if you’re not careful, it’s easy to put too much credence into someone’s behavior or reaction to you. As I tell my kids — crassly, so they remember — “Don’t ever let anyone pee on your dream.”

Women probably do this to themselves more than men. We buy into the belief that we “read people better.” Then we read too much into “clues” about their opinions of us. We often misinterpret subtle facial expressions or careless words, giving them so much more meaning than we should.

I don’t want to change the system or even fix the perpetrators of injustice. There will always be more thoughtless people than heroes. The trick — the joy —  is to live and thrive among them with the stronger core, the more stable character. The secret is to remind that little child inside you, of your power.

Your missions is to live your glorious life. You must never sit around and wait for someone to hand you your own power on a plate. It is already inside you.

Everything else is detail, circumstances, and trivia.

_______________

The Strength of an Elephant

Circus elephant. Angela NWhen a baby elephant is still small and weak, elephant trainers tie it to a tree so that it cannot pull its leg free from the rope, nor tug against the strength of the tree. They know that the animal will tug until it’s tired, then give up in exhaustion.

Over the years, the elephant gets bigger and stronger; certainly strong enough to pull down any tree to simply walk away from it. But it never does that. The now-grown elephant stands obediently tied to the tree because it’s never tested the tree after the first few attempts as a baby elephant.

It accepts its bondage as the truth.

People are likely to do the same thing unless we continually test our limits. Maybe you can see very well that others are achieving things you want to do. I admit, many times I look around and see others’ successes and think, “Hey, I could do that. I should do that. Do I even want to do something like that? How would I make that happen?”

Then (and here’s the icky part) sometimes before I even know it, my imagination comes up with excuses why it’s different for them. She has support I don’t have. He’s has more freedom to travel. She’s younger; has lived here longer; doesn’t struggle with this or that issue, pain, heartache, etc. All bullshit.

The devil loves it when you forget your power and stand there encumbered by bogus baggage that you invented. Before you know it, you’re tossing in a sea of excuses, while those others are on solid ground, clearing the way to make things happen.

The worst excuse you can possibly invent is the one that says, basically, it’s not your turn yet — or some variation of it:

  • This isn’t my time.
  • The world isn’t ready for this.
  • I don’t want to step on anyone’s toes.
  • This other thing needs to be done first.
  • I need more experience.
  • I’ve only been at this for ten years. Five more years and then I can do that.
  • As soon as I get new carpets, fix my teeth, lose thirty pounds… then I’ll go for it.
  • After the youngest is finished with school…

I know this internal discussion intimately, by the way. I also know that, as Mother Teresa said,“Be faithful in small things because it is in them that your strength lies.”  It pays to remind yourself every day why you’re doing those small moves, and to keep a watchful eye on every door that swings open. It could be the next one you should go through.

Whatever you do, don’t just sit it out for awhile. Stay engaged and be ready.


Whether you are ready to pounce, or are using your extreme mojo to take small steps (often the more difficult path); be ready to act. Your opportunity to step out of line is always at hand. The extraordinary possible.

When you decide to make your move, remember this:

Never let others’ self consciousness, ignorance, fear, or negativity dictate your value. It’s their problem, not yours. In more cases than not, their sour attitude doesn’t even reflect their beliefs! I think a lot of people simply don’t feel good. Their frowns are due to a rock in their shoe, or indigestion, or something they heard on the news… something that has nothing to do with you! Once you start looking at others this way, you’ll be amazed how the world changes. You actually start feeling sympathetic toward negative people. At the very least, you can veer away from them without getting scathed.

Know that you are worthy. If you put in the work, the hours, the energy, or planning… heck even if you just have a dream that you are daring enough to share with someone; It’s enough to start the wheels in motion. Your truth is as true as others’ truth.

Don’t settle for someone else’s NO. Accept that some people will never see things from your point of view; how could they? That’s exactly why you must persist in the truth of your point of view.

Learn and follow the rules in order to get your ticket to play. Especially at the beginning. Sometimes the biggest barrier to entry is simply filling out an application. For goodness sake, buck up and do this work! Set up your profile, build your website, register for the course, etc. This is the easy stuff. Anyone can do it. That’s exactly why it filters out the players from the rest. If you can’t do the little stuff to get your toe in the door, you probably won’t be able to handle the bigger problems that come from bigger rewards. You must be willing to take the first steps.

No complaining. If you must complain, write it down and throw it away. I have journals from my past completely full of hopes, dreams… and complaints. Now I know now why the good parts didn’t win out. Hopes and dreams cannot exist side by side complaints. As soon as I stopped exploring the ways other people hurt me, and the way I could never measure up, things started to change for me. A few years ago, I made a decision to change and set upon a deliberate refusal to contaminate my plans, thoughts, actions, written goals, and stories with crap.

I am not a ray of sunshine every minute of the day, for sure, but now I take a moment (sometimes even a day or two) to acknowledge the dark clouds. Then I force them away with a prayer, or an act of kindness, or a written plan. If you’re prone to complaints, take action against it. Replace it with something different. You are stronger than your complaints. You will overcome it.

Don’t blame another person who doesn’t get you. It’s not their fault they don’t get you. By the way, the people closest to you are often the ones who “don’t get you” the most. Forgive them.

Kintaro Riding the CarpAppreciate your weirdness. It’s your blessing. God made you that way. Thank him daily.

Not right away, maybe. Many beginners have a flurry of beginner’s luck, a comfortable, warm current in which they can do no wrong. I hope you are lucky in this way. This will keep you moving forward until you get smacked down the first time. The memory of that first bliss of success is usually enough to whet your appetite to stick with it. But be ready. Success, especially that which comes from beginner’s luck, never lasts.

Know that once you start, you will be met with opposition. Crazy stuff will happen to throw you off course. There will be a hurricane, or a sickness, or a car crash. This stuff isn’t “speaking to you.” Don’t ascribe meaning to it. It will seem like the Universe is against you, but it’s not. If you lean toward that way of thinking, the more accurate truth is that you are probably on the right course when all that crap starts “happening to you.”

More likely, you will encounter resistance from yourself and from others. (I’m only addressing the subject of resistance from others here because self-sabotage is a whole ‘nuther thing!) When you meet resistance you’ll have, you’ll have three choices.

Push back, move on to the next person, or give up completely.

1. Pushing back: Have you ever known the pleasure of changing someone’s mind? Me neither.

Minds don’t change like a chameleons’s colors. Everyone brings their history, prejudices and personalities to the table in any meeting of minds. You can rarely change minds completely (only a control freak wants to!) but you can, however negotiate a mutual agreement that allows everyone to get some of what they came for.

The best outcomes serve both parties better than each’s original plan. So, at least sometimes, be open to a plan B…

Unless, in your mind, there is no plan B.

2. If negotiation is impossible, then move on.

Some dreams, missions, and ideas are just too important to dice up. If your goal, as you define it, matters a lot, negotiation may not be an option.

In that case, moving on is your only choice. Move on to the next person, the next bank, the next angel investor, the next publisher, the next house, the next phone number, or even the next friend.

3. Lastly, of course, you can turn around and go back where you came from. Giving up is better than not trying at all, and some days there may be very good reasons for doing so. No judgment here. Only hugs. But I hope you try again.

A related note: Your past is gone. If it was amazing, I’m happy for you, but it’s still gone. Poof. You may personally and professionally identify yourself by your experiences; attribute great value to them and allow them to determine your future. Many people cling to the past with certainty, but it’s no more real than the future. You may argue that you have bruises to show for your troubles, but in fact, the punch or the fall, whatever cased the bruise, was yesterday. You have so much more than a bruise now; you have the knowledge of what came before it and what came after. You may choose to wear your bruise out into the open today, to cast your past cares aside, to dissociate with them and walk away. 

It’s your choice.

Finally, whatever you do, don’t wait for permission from someone else. I know, I said that already. If most of your life is spent waiting for permission from people who hold power over your actions, then think about changing your situation. Decide whether their permission has any effect on your well being; for example, your ability to make and keep friends, obtain food and shelter, raise your family, your desire to pray, etc. If so, rethink their power over you.

_________

“You have no power over me.”

One of the best movie lines ever is from Labyrinth — that movie with David Bowie as the Goblin King. The young princess battles the evil king’s spell and deals with all of his trickery. For hours she navigates his twisted Labyrinth with grace and persistence, until she finally meets him face to face.

You have no power over me.

After one last offer from the King, she finally realizes her righteousness and stands up to him, saying,

“My will is as strong as yours, and my kingdom is as great. You have no power over me.”

I love the way she performs this line. She says it with wonder and conviction. At the exact same moment she owns them herself, the words fall from her lips, ending the fantasy. She gets her baby brother back and returns to real life. (Never mind that David Bowie just promised to be her slave.)

Try saying the words aloud. It’s actually fun.

Your Real and Fantastic Life

The wonder of childhood stays with some of us for a long time. We remember the stories, people and places from our early years because they had so much power of us when we were kids. Sometimes too much power.

Oddly, when I retell the Sea World story to Katie, she insists she doesn’t remember it with as much gravitas as me. She got over it pretty quickly, in fact.

I was the one hurt. Somewhere, certainly, I was turned back from something I wanted to do. my fearless parenting was not rewarded with a triumphant child. Seeing my child stumble through it brought my claws out. I admit that even now, after I know Katie’s OK, and probably even stronger for that tiny set-back, the incident pulls a fierce reaction from my gut.

I work with entrepreneurs and business owners and other self-made people. They’re my favorite kind, these folks; all misfits in the best sense of the word. Being super sensitive to others who have this same misfit quality, I encourage you to fortify yourself against any established powers-that-be that get in the way of a friend, acquaintance, or child with a big vision.

While it’s perfectly lovely to be patient and polite, there comes a time when you have to step on it and pull out into traffic. Remember, the cross traffic does not stop. No one driving by will ever invite you to ride; they may even advise you to turn back… And that, my friend, is totally unacceptable.

Out of Steps:Flickr CC, Kara Javi

Circus Elephant: Flickr CC, Angela N.

Carp: Flickr CC, Ashley Van Haeften

Filed Under: Inspiration Tagged With: being polite, bold moves, bold moves in business, bravery, Edwin Havens, entrepreneur, Entrepreneur on Fire, entrepreneur qualities, fearlessness, follow the rules, following your dreams, Free Range Kids, home business, John Lee Dumas, jumping at opportunity, Lenore Skenazy, make your move, mother Teresa, opportunity, permission, permission to move, power, risk, self direction, small things, starting something big, stepping out of line, waiting your turn, who has power over you, Why me?, why not me?, youth

The 5 Second Rule That Catapults You Out of Your Comfort Zone

July 23, 2015 by jennifer mcgahan Leave a Comment

The 5 Second Rule That Catapults You Out of Your Comfort Zone

 

escape your comfort zone

Have you ever had that inclination to do something a little out of your comfort zone? Ask a question at a business conference, ask someone out on a date, give a generous contribution to a charity, call an old friend you haven’t seen in twenty years, strike up a conversation with an interesting stranger? You start taking that first step out of your comfort zone, but you hesitate. Something holds you back. What is it?

According to Tedx Talk speaker Mel Robins, that thing that’s screwing you over could be five seconds.

Robins claims studies have shown that if you wait 5 seconds after the initial impulse hits, you probably never act on it. Most people hit the emergency brake. They don’t go through with the idea because they hesitate a few seconds too long.

Why does your mind want to talk you out of making a move that could be risky? Protecting your ego is one of the most important jobs our conscious minds can do. What if I look like a fool? What if I don’t say the right words? What if I want to take it back? What if she thinks I’m a kook? So you swerve away from the direct path you were going to take and instead tell yourself some other excuse: You need to study more, you should mind your own business, you’re not ready, you’ll look too pushy, you don’t deserve this. You’ll be rejected.

By not doing that thing your instinct told you to do, you ruin your chances of something really great happening! How will you ever know? As you retreat, you’ll comfort yourself that you are staying safe, while you simultaneously kick yourself for not being a little bolder.

“Next time,” you think.

get out of your comfort zoneAlthough I’m a believer in “next times,” — it’s where grace does it’s best work — I also know that momentum is the driver for success. Doors open when your heart is inclining in a certain direction, but doors blow off their hinges for the person who’s moving so fast they don’t have time to pay attention to thoughts of hesitation. One thing I know for sure is that the brass ring comes around fast, and time doesn’t slow down for you to grab it. You have to go for it, even if it means making a fool of yourself, or the moment passes.

If a motive to do something bold comes from goodwill, altruism, or curiosity, you need to act before you talk yourself out of it. Because, you will, you know. Your rational mind will come up with all sorts of reasons why right now is not a good time.

Most of us put too much emphasis on thinking things through. I’m not talking about blustering your way through every encounter and pushing your agenda on people, but rather, acting on a passionately held thought or idea that opens a line of communication. The only way you’ll ever know if your message is well received is if you get out there on that limb and see. Do the experiement. Get out of your head and act on your instinct.

A couple of weeks ago I ordered some workout clothes from a website. I’m not sure why I thought it was a good idea, but  haven’t made time to shop in quite awhile, and I knew that if I did get around to it, I’d buy new gym shoes, not a cute workout outfit.  So I ordered a plum tank top and matching yoga pants online. When I received them, they didn’t fit it; too long and skinny for my little sparkplug bod. I tried selling the combo on our local Facebook swap page at 50% off what I paid, but I got no bites.  So what would you do with this brand-new (really pretty) athletic outfit? I figured it would sit around my office until I thought of a friend with the right body type who who might happen to like it. Who knows how long that could be?

The other day in Body Jam I noticed this gal with long legs who looked like exactly the type of body that would rock this outfit. The only thing was, I had never talked to this woman before in my life. I only ever saw her at the gym for Body Jam classes and she kept to herself, never chatting with others before or after class. As we were leaving the workout room that day a thought hit me. “Just go over there, introduce yourself, and offer to give it to her because really, it’ll sit there with tags until it goes out of style.” Suddenly I felt really shy, and thought, “What a stupid idea. Who does that?” But you know what? I went ahead and opened the conversation.

“I hope you don’t think this is too strange, but I have to tell you something…” and she was very gracious. She smiled and said sure, she’d be happy to try it on. And that was that. We exchanged names and agreed to see each other next time. No big deal. In fact, I felt pretty good about the whole thing.

Now, I don’t know if she’ll take me up on my gift, but I do know that in that one moment I made the acquaintance of someone to whom I’d never spoken before (a plus); I may have found a home for that beautiful purple outfit (another plus); and I may have even made a new friend (plus, plus)! It’s just a small example of how good it feels to reach out, rather than drive home thinking, “Darn, I really should’ve talked to that gal.”

 

There’s no better time than right now.

life begins nowBecause you’re building your business, you’re probably seeing many opportunities to do something daring that’s a little bit outside of your comfort zone. Building a business requires this discomfort. but it doesn’t have to feel awkward forever. The more you strengthen this muscle the easier it is to get out of your own head. It takes practice.

Start by doing one uncomfortable thing thing every day. I recommend following through with a spontaneous act just when the idea swoops in and makes itself known to you. This is actually very easy because the idea is new; it doesn’t require the same level of courage and momentum for something you’ve been ruminating on for weeks. Just do this small thing whenever it occurs to you, and move without thinking.

Remember, if you don’t act within 5 seconds of that first hunch, you’re likely to talk yourself out of it. Don’t waste the moment. You’ve heard it said that money loves speed. I think it also loves generosity, a well-intentioned heart, and friendliness. You are more than ready with the skills and gifts you already have. Don’t think too hard about acting on your authentic spark when you want to connect with other people.

When you move quickly and naturally, admitting when you’re goofy, bold, not sure of all the facts (but willing to get them), sharing what you know to be true with confidence and a positive attitude; when you act freely the universe lines up to work in your favor. You don’t have to be polished and smooth as a gemstone to have the effect you want, just willing to be dropped into the great polisher of life — relationships with other people.

Success comes from knowing who you are, what you have to offer, and what you’re most curious about. Furthermore, success comes with speed and fluidity when you act on those divine impulses, even if it’s little uncomfortable. Practice this and it gets easier every time you try. Fringe benefit: you’ll become a happier, more charismatic person.

Fling aside hestitaion and go for bold instead.

Acrobat: Flickr: U.S. Army

Filed Under: Inspiration Tagged With: 5-second rule, act now, business building, comfort zone, get out of comfort zone, hesitation, home business, ideal time to act, Mel Robins, risk, take action, taking risk, Tedx

The Clean Garage Blueprint For Busy Home Business Owners

July 9, 2015 by jennifer mcgahan Leave a Comment

The Clean Garage Blueprint For Busy Home Business Owners

I love a clean garage. I just don’t make the time to clean ours very often.

The clean garage Blueprint for people who work from home

This is ironic, because I value good health, and I’ve found the healthiest way to clean your garage is to simply clean it more often. For those of you who, like me, spend most of my time at home yet only clean the garage about once per year, it’s quite the project. On top of that, it can make you sick and sore. More about that later.

Everyone thinks that people who have a home business or who frequently work at home have all sorts of extra time that other people don’t. While it’s true that we don’t have a schedule set by someone else, we still keep a schedule, however flexible. Like everyone else, free time is usually filled with things we actually like to do.

Cleaning the garage doesn’t fall too high up on my list. If I have extra wiggle room, I’m probably carting the kids to their various activities, reading, or cooking a nice dinner. So here are some tips for tackling a dirty garage with love and without too much trauma, especially if you work from home, and you’ve let it go for too long.

Just get started!

See, I didn’t really plan on doing it, but I had some extra hours on Sunday. Without even intending to, I found myself dragging a ton of stuff out to the driveway, dusting and scrubbing it down, sweeping the garage floors (even the corners), throwing things out, and putting everything back in its place.

Deep cleaning is a little gift I give myself (and the house) when I have unconstructed time — usually a holiday weekend. This weekend it was the Fourth of July. It fell on a Saturday, and Sunday was, well, either a recovery day (you know who you are) or a bonus day. Even though I had a little bit to drink; and stayed up too late watching my kid blow things up; and ate one or two ridiculously sweet blondies, I was up and ready for church by 8:00. When I got home, I realized I had a full day with NOTHING TO DO.

Sometimes, on these rare unconstructed days, I paint, or sew, or read, or write all day long. But this past Sunday I cleaned the garage.

Now, I don’t exactly hate cleaning the garage. I might even go so far as to say I enjoy it, for it’s an act that requires no forethought; you just need to start. It’s work that perfectly “FLOWs,” beginning with a small act, like putting away a screwdriver, or washing the dog crate pillow. Magically, without any motivation on my part, I wind up going whole hog, cleaning and organizing everything. It’s the “If You Give A Mouse a Cookie” syndrome, where you get caught up in the adventure of completing unforeseen tasks, one right after another.

On Sunday it started with cleaning up the fireworks debris in the street. I enlisted the boys’ help of course. Then, one thing led to another and, viola, a clean garage!

At the end of the day (if you’ve ever had a day like this, you know what I mean) you experience the results, good and bad. Let me explain.

Three Cool Things About Cleaning the Garage:

It doesn’t take a master plan.

Are you one of those people who writes “Clean the Garage” on your calendar? If you are, then you probably even gather supplies, extra organizational bins, cleaning tools, maybe even some new shelving, etc. But if you’re a reluctant garage cleaner (like me), then it’s always a happy surprise when the day is done and you’ve spent it getting the garage in ship shape. You find yourself working with what you’ve got and it’s good enough.

You get to organize all your stuff. There are two kinds of people in the world; Those who love to organize stuff, and those who’d just as soon toss everything in one pile and sort things out later. I’m of the former group.

  • I found stuff, forgotten little things left here and there in random spots by various family members.
  • I gathered a pile of deflated balls from soccer and volleyball seasons past.
  • I discovered a use for a strong peg holder that had been in an awkward spot on a wall for over a decade.
  • I made a pile of things to toss and things to take to the Goodwill. I even found some good stuff to sell in our local Facebook swap page.
  • I pulled several toxic products off the shelves to take to a recycling center.
  • I even surveyed the tool chest and decided that it wouldn’t bee too big a job to organize screws, Dremel bits, and screwdrivers into drawers. I even designated on drawer for my son’s skateboard hardware and tools. He’ll love that, although he may not actually put things away, since he’s 14.

Clean dog, clean garage.Now that everything is clean and easy-to-locate, I can now find things. This Eureka moment may even set off a flurry of projects I’ve been meaning to fix around the house. Sooner better than later. Just remember; YOU can find things, but everyone else in the house may wonder where you put everything. Labeling the newly sorted drawers and boxes is a nice idea.

You get to clean all your stuff.

You bring it out to your driveway, fill buckets with cleaning solutions and put a shine on the sawhorses, and garden tools, and bicycles. This is one of the most satisfying parts of the job, removing cobwebs and dust from old paint jars, sports equipment and tool chests. Now you can actually touch your stuff without getting dirty. Lovely.

You have new spaces and new vision.

The garage is where many of us enter the house. If the garage is a shambles, it’s really hard to enjoy your indoor living space, even if it’s as clean and tidy as an army barracks, and as welcoming as any interior you’ve ever pinned. I told you about the new skateboard drawer. Now here’s my real pipedream: I can never clean the garage without envisioning a new garage floor and a new paintjob. I picture everything up off the floor, from bicycles to reloading supplies, to scrap lumber, which I have difficulty understanding why we keep until, as soon as I discard an 8-ft 2 x 4, I suddenly need one; so I bite the impulse to toss it, and put it back in the corner.

Sandy's Clean Garage Floors  in AustinSomeday, I want one of those speckled, stain resistant, washable epoxy jobs on the floor. I’d say goodbye to the permanent marks left by the tempura paints my kids spilled at an easel when they were much younger, and the worn rounded edge from my sons’ skateboarding tricks on the one cement ledge inside the garage. Ahh, I can dream.

The only new thing that came from this fastidious flurry of cleanliness was a new crate bed for my beloved Rosie. She totally deserves it, for being such a good and faithful guardian.

And now for some tips on how to feel great after your day of hard work…

The Healthy Way To Clean Your Garage

While I can’t get super excited about cleaning the garage, I do feel passionate about staying healthy while you’re doing it. Your body takes the wear and tear of a full day of some pretty heavy physical labor.

For example, while my garage looked terrific (well, better) at the end of the day, my shoes, socks and feet were soggy, my back ached, my lungs were filled with dust, I had cobwebs in my hair, and my finger was pinched from lifting identical metal grids and setting them down, back to back, in a not-so-identical way. Ouch!

Some of the following tips are things I did that worked. But some are words of caution brought on by my oversight.

Use nontoxic cleaning supplies:

Thieves™ in a bucket of water is better for your eyes, hands, lungs and skin than anything I’ve ever used. If you are a frequent cleaner of things around the house, I highly recommend this stuff. I didn’t believe until I tried this stuff.

Be safe and smart when lifting and climbing:

I got a pretty good scare as I lifted some heavy folding chairs above my head while standing on the third ladder rung. I didn’t fall, but after regaining my balance, I admitted I was no spring chicken anymore. It only takes one small slip to change your life forever. Even if you’re young and in perfectly good health, get a spotter for high-up jobs; and at least make sure someone else is home if you’re doing anything even remotely dangerous. Farmers can testify to this. They always say, “It was stupid… everyone knows you don’t [fill in the blank].” And yet they did – and lost fingers, legs, suffered brain injuries, or were killed. Don’t risk your life for your garage. Just sayin’.

Tend to those sore muscles:

sore muscles after garage cleaningI’m not sure why it is, but I can work out at the gym for hours every week, and still, when I do yard work or housecleaning, my muscles are so sore afterward. I massaged some Aroma Seize™ and Deep Relief™ on my shoulders and neck, and rested all evening.

A nice hot bath is also soothing after bending, lifting and reaching, etc.

Watch out for stinging insects:

The mud dauber nests were too high up to remove. They’re just part of the scenery for now. As annoying as the flying insects are, going in and out of the garage as if they owned the place; it’s the spiders and scorpions you have to watch out for. (In Texas, all the stinging, prickly stuff hugs the ground.) I managed to spot the scorpion curled under a bag of potting soil, but I never saw the spider that stung me behind my right knee. The itching and swelling began suddenly, so I went in search of some Lavender. It eased the itching immediately, and I’ve been re-applying it regularly for the past couple of days. I’m not sure spiders avoid bug sprays (either over the counter or one of the excellent home-made insect repellent essential oil blends), but the mosquitos and chiggers do.

Protect your lungs and membranes from dust and other contaminants:

I always forget how dust affects me until it’s too late. I’m still feeling that tightness in my throat when I swallow (two days later), and I know it’s from exposure to dust and cobwebs. Remember that any powdered substance will irritate your nasal membranes and your internal organs and tissues. Sweeping up sawdust, handling old ant poison powders (even with gloves), and general disturbance of dust and dirt; is the height of nasty to your lungs and eyes. The next time I’m at the store I’m picking up some dust masks to have on hand for projects like this.

lavender infused neti pot saltsIf you make the same mistake of NOT wearing a dust mask, you can always flush your sinuses with some warm salt water infused with Lavender (there it is again) and/or Neroli essential oils, poured through a Neti pot for instant relief.

Enjoy your clean garage while it lasts.

Now that the garage is clean, I actually enjoy the trip from the door to the car. I’m sure there are plenty of other dirty jobs that are worth the sore muscles to accomplish, but I’m enjoying the moment this week.

Maybe I’ll tackle the attic next Labor Day weekend.

Filed Under: Health and Lifestyle Tagged With: back muscles, clean garage, clean garage floors, clear nasal passages, clear sinus passages, essential oils, garage cleaning, healthy housecleaning, home business, home business owners, home office, household chores, keeping your garage clean, neglected housecleaning, neti pot, putting it off, safe climbing, safe lifting, soreness, work at home, work from home, YLEO, young living

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